The Manhood Question
Or the real reasons Zoomer males are not men
It has become something of a gag and cliché for each generation to blame their predecessors for their bad lot in life while simultaneously demeaning their youngers.
Generation Xers are the guiltiest. They bitterly mock Boomers for being privileged, fat, old and out of touch with the world around them and laugh at Millennials for being delicate snowflakes, ideologically-possessed and degenerate.
In more recent times, Generation Z has been taking flak which makes sense because Zoomers have reached ages where they can be called adults. However, it is this very adulthood status which is being questioned by the older generations online. There are a number of critiques but king among them is the one aimed at the male members of this generational cohort, namely, that they aren’t manly.
This isn’t explicitly expressed in harangues aimed at male Zoomers but it is often implied. Again, none of us should be surprised, when one says either “manly” or “masculine”, the last image which materializes in our mind is a twenty-something Zoomer with a silly haircut.
The words “infantilize” and “infantilization” are often used when criticizing Zillennials and Zoomers and such infantilization is often blamed on upbringing. Ironically, such criticisms are made by earlier generations who, if their criticisms are accurate, must take the blame and responsibility for said infantilization as they were the parents and grandparents who raised the Zillennials and Zoomers.
Notwithstanding this issue of responsibility, I, myself, am inclined to agree with the criticism that many Zillennial, Zoomer and even Millennial male adults are not what we would call men. I would agree that they are not quality specimens of manhood or exemplars of masculinity, although I would draw the line at denigrating them as feminine or effeminate (although some really are).
My honest assessment is these younger male are stuck in the strange twilight zone of perpetual adolescence and not an exciting or rebellious one either. While some Millennials are quite loud, Zillennial and Zoomer males are broadly docile, depressed and resigned.
However, I do not agree with the theory that Zillennial and Zoomer males are not real men because of an improper upbringing. I am going to argue that there is a much larger and greater systematic reason as to why so many Zillennial and Zoomer males have not earnt the respected title of “man”.
On Rites of Passage: Western Society
Whenever a discussion on masculinity takes place on the open forum of the internet, there is always that one man who says that there are no rites of passage in modern western society for young boys to take in order to transform into men. Often, it is a military man who makes this statement, and suggests that compulsory service could serve as a rite of passage.
Such views and suggestions have a surprising amount of popularity.
But what if I told you that western society already has rites of passage? That the rites of passage in western society are so engrained that we take them for granted and forget that they even exist?
One of western society’s rites of passage for boys is learning how to drive a car and then buying and keeping one. The car is a symbol of adulthood and a brilliant tool of transportation which is never used by children because, although useful, it is a dangerous thing when used by the incapable or foolish.
To drive a vehicle, you must demonstrate that you have skills necessary not only to direct the car where you want to go but also to keep yourself, your passengers and others safe while driving. The car is not a simple means of transportation; it is a real responsibility and the price for ignoring this can be death.
Boys do not drive cars, men do. Or at least, boys turning into men (aka young men) drive cars.
Now I am going to end abruptly here and ask you to hold this thought, while we explore the actual purpose of a rite of passage.
On Rites of passages: The How and Why they turn boys into men (Part 1)
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much; […]
-Rudyard Kipling (1895)
The defunct Legends of Men website once provided a brilliant and concise outline on what defines masculinity by drawing heavily on research conducted by David Gilmore in his book Manhood in the Making. Essentially, across all cultures, centuries and continents there are three requisites which make a man, sometimes called the three Ps of manhood:
Protect – the ability to defend himself and others from danger e.g. animals, other men, nature etc.
Provide – the ability to meet his physical needs and those of his family and friends e.g. food, water, shelter etc.
Procreation – the ability not only to impregnate women but also to attract a woman (or women) and maintain a relationship/s in order to raise healthy children.
Let’s focus on the first two: Protect and Provide. A primitive tribesman in the Amazon Rainforest would focus on mastering these two Ps by training his mind and body for fighting, foraging and hunting. A young boy in such a tribe will be taught by his father and other men to make arrows, use a bow and other weapons and how to track and hunt animals in order to execute these two responsibilities. In other words, a boy’s rites of passage will involve learning and training all these skills.
This training makes sense because of the demands of the natural environment which the Amazonian tribes live in. Hence, all their rites of passage reflect the demands and nature of their environment. Their rites of passage are designed to help train boys into men so they can execute these roles and adopt the responsibilities of protecting and providing.
But western men and boys do not live in a natural environment like the Amazon Rainforest. In so many ways, western society is an artificial environment. Barely any of us grow or hunt for our own food, and, although western societies are becoming increasingly insecure for a plethora of reasons, we don’t need to learn martial skills for the purposes of security (yet).
Of course, we all still need to eat and protect our interests. Despite the desires and attempts of some political actors, we don’t and never will live in a giant state nursery or an all-reaching BAPian longhouse. However, while protecting and providing means learning physical skills and practising physical and moral courage in more primitive or natural environments, in the artificial environment of western civilization, money is the key to both protecting and providing.
This is why I have described western society as an artificial environment, because we don’t need to survive by acquiring skills to wrestle with Mother Nature (excluding those of us who are farmers, fishermen etc.) but instead by possessing enough physical (although now, increasingly digital) tokens. In our artificial environment, a man now proves his manhood and manliness by showing how much he can potentially buy at his local supermarket.
Let’s consider how money gives a man the ability to execute the roles of protecting and providing. Imagine a boy who lives in a dangerous neighbourhood in the depths of a broken modern city (many such examples exist in the west now), criminals are everywhere and it is dangerous to walk alone. How can such a boy defend himself? What would be the best way to protect himself and those he loves and cares about?
Many such boys in these broken neighbourhoods - these inner city hells of the decaying western world – learn how to fight as best they can and join gangs of similarly disadvantaged boys to protect themselves and each other (as well as to prey on those who are not members of their group).
Such a strategy would work for this boy. However, a more effective, albeit much harder strategy, would be to earn enough money to move out of the hellish neighbourhood and into a better one where there is law and order and where the neighbours have no need or inclination to rob and murder each other.
Many men quite rightly encourage boys to train in martial arts and to find their tribe/gang, however, the truth remains that the best way to protect yourself and those under your care is to earn enough money to move into a good neighbourhood. This is far more reliable and effective than learning how to box or handle a gun.
Finally, let’s consider the providing role. Anyone (man, woman, boy or girl) who has the money can get shelter, food, water and other necessities in order to live and stay alive. A boy who does not have the means to earn enough money to fend for himself must necessarily rely on other men who have the resources to provide for him (and if he has them, a girlfriend/wife and their child/ren). These other men could be family or friends or they could be taxpayers he has never met and will never know.
Nothing else is required to provide in western society, only money.
On Rites of Passage: Western Society (Part 2)
[…] If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard Kipling (1895)
So if masculine rites of passage reflect the demands of the environment which a given culture dwells in, and if the environment of western society demands money, what are our rites of passage in the west?
Let’s consider the car again, in particular, learning to drive a car, buying and paying for a car so you can use it. All of these aforementioned things, represent a rite of passage for young men in western society. But why?
Because it is linked to the protecting and providing roles. The protection point may sound strange but when a man drives a car with a passenger, he becomes responsible for that person whoever he or she may be. By driving well, honing his reflexes and making prudent decisions he protects himself and the passenger while navigating the dangers of the road; he takes on the responsibility of protecting because he is the leader as long as he remains in the driver’s seat.
The providing point is more obvious; in order to buy and maintain a car, a man has to be earning excess money to afford a vehicle. A man has to be meeting his essential needs before he can afford the luxury of a vehicle so it is a good sign or indication that he is capable of providing for himself and others.
Furthermore, owning a car gives a young man a capacity which is considered masculine everywhere but is especially valued in western society: independence. By independence I mean the capacity to carry one’s own weight.
This capacity by varying degrees is considered manly in all cultures. The reason a man works to fulfil the duties and responsibilities of the three Ps is to carry his own weight in his tribe and/or society. A man who cannot carry his own weight isn’t really a man but instead a big child or, in other words, a dead weight.
A young man who owns a car possesses some independence and some ability to carry his own weight. He no longer has to rely on his friends and relatives or public transport to get places, he can transport himself basically wherever he wants at basically anytime without relying on anyone else. By having this independence, he takes responsibility for himself because he is the one in the driver’s seat.
Continuing with the car example, having one helps with the third P - Procreation. Because a car is a symbol of independence, growing maturity and responsibility for the young man who drives it, he becomes more attractive to girls and women. It may not be enough by itself to get him a lover but it will increase his attractiveness by twofold at the least.
Now of course, getting a set of four wheels is not the only rite of passage in western society and I’m sure readers of this post will be able to think of more (I imagine someone will make a comment about motorbikes), but it is an important and obvious one.
You may have noticed that the completion of these rites of passage which concern learning how to drive and then buying a car depends on having one key resource: money.
If you cannot pay for the driving lessons, tests and for the vehicle itself, you cannot complete this rite of passage. It doesn’t matter if you would make a great driver, it doesn’t matter if you have the skills, it doesn’t matter if you are ready to accept the responsibility, it doesn’t matter if you deserve to have your own vehicle, if you cannot pay, you cannot pass.
This rite of passage has a price tag attached.
Money, Money, Money
The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees
I want money
-Berry Gordy and Janie Braford (1959)
When you take a long hard look at western society, what makes a man is money. If you ask a western person what is the first image that enters his mind when someone says “successful man”, that image will likely be of a man with a beautiful wife and healthy kids who lives in a big house and has a fulfilling and lucrative job which pays him extremely well. The first thing he thinks of is not going to be a single man who lives in a shack but who nevertheless is extremely virtuous, happy, self-confident and physically powerful. And he certainly won’t think of a Catholic monk cloistered away in some monastery.
If you ask this same western person to imagine a “successful writer”, he is going to picture writers like Stephen King, G.R.R Martin and J.K Rowling. He is not going to imagine a self-published author who has written actual masterpieces but only sold a few copies.
A man’s level of masculinity is judged on how much money he has. The reason is because the three Ps are fulfilled by making lots of money in western society. If you want to take on the aforementioned masculine roles in the western environment, you need to make enough money to do so.
Elon Musk, who is exceptionally wealthy (to understate things) and has a healthy number of children whom he can support effortlessly, is basically the epitome of manhood in western society. He is a man.
A man who is an exceptional fighter, a passionate Casanova, a brilliant artist and an all-around virtuous and confident guy who everyone loves, isn’t really much of a man if he still lives with his parents and cannot make enough money to fend for himself. Men such as Elon Musk outman him so hard it isn’t even funny.
The young man who has moved out of his parents’ home and house-shares (i.e. rents) a flat with a group of friends/strangers isn’t really much of a man either as he hasn’t demonstrated the ability to provide for himself. Additionally, he hasn’t demonstrated the ability to procreate either as to raise healthy children in such an environment isn’t feasible (and he is unlikely to persuade any woman to try starting a family there either).
To carry your own weight, you have to pay your own way. In order to become a responsible male adult – a man – you will need to obtain the money in order to have the corresponding control which will give you independence and allow you to take responsibility for yourself.
There is a price tag attached to manhood in western society and the problem is that it is getting bigger.
The Economy
“It’s the economy, stupid!” – James Carville (1992)
I am not going to dive into how the buying power of the pound has atrophied, how modern monetary policy has resulted in high inflation, or how mass immigration into Great Britain has affected prices and wages.
I’m going to mention briefly here that the average British home now costs about nine times more than a mid-range salary. If you want a deeper dive into the current housing crisis, I can recommend various videos and articles online which give a good overview of the situation. Such a list of these videos and articles will be available at the very end of this substack. All of these videos and articles pertain to the situation in Great Britain but my interactions with Americans give me good reason to believe conditions are not wholly different in the USA.
Universally speaking, everything has become much more expensive including vehicles (and their running costs) and especially houses both to buy and rent. Wages have not kept pace with inflation so the average guy with an average salary is effectively locked out of the housing market and forced to pay horrifically high rents for small spaces which he will share with strangers.
This is all out of the average guy’s control. Take any average guy off the street today and throw him into a time machine back to the 1980s and he would be in a viable position to possibly buy a house given time. But as it stands in 2024, the average guy could not buy a family-sized property even if he saved every single penny he earnt for ten years, he would only be able to buy a small home (probably in a God-forsaken part of the country with dreadful neighbours) or maybe place a deposit on a family-sized house to get a lifelong mortgage.
With enough luck and savvy saving, the average guy may be able to buy/mortgage a house or flat for himself within a reasonable timeframe but he won’t be able to buy/mortgage a home for a family within the same amount of time.
Basically, the average guy’s manhood is capped by his environment and by forces beyond his control and even his comprehension.
TwitterX (an example of these problems from the USA)
Because of the economic situation, the majority of Zillennial and Zoomer males will never be able to fulfil and take on the responsibilities of the three Ps because they won’t ever have the money to do so. They cannot protect because they don’t have the money, they cannot provide because they don’t have the money and they cannot procreate because, without achieving the first two Ps, they are not attractive prospects to women who want to have children.
It would be one thing if the economic game state was only stopping guys who couldn’t be bothered to work from acquiring (or at least renting) family-sized properties but the situation is locking out the average guy on the average salary from being able to provide for a family or even for himself.
To show the gravity of the current predicament, I want you to picture the following hypothetical scenario of a twenty-year-old living with his parents to save money to buy a home in five years’ time. This guy has a fulltime job which pays an average salary and is deliberately living at his family home so he can save 90% of his pay every year.
According to data covered by Forbes, the average 20 year old in the UK is paid £22,932 (median average) before the 20% Income Tax for that income bracket. According to my calculations, after Income Tax (£4586.40) and the 10% personal allowance (£1834.56) are deducted, this twenty-year-old guy will have saved £16,511.04 after one year’s work.
Annual Salary by age group before taxes (Source: Forbes)
If this twenty-year-old saves his money for five years, will he succeed in buying a house where he can raise a family and so successfully adopt all the responsibilities of the three Ps? Well… unless he jumps multiple pay grades, buys shares in a company that takes off or has the good fortune of watching the housing market collapse causing property prices to drop substantially, then the answer will probably be no.
Yes, he will have saved £82,555.20 at least but, in the current UK housing market, this will only be enough to either get a mortgage on a small property (think two bedrooms max) in a good area which he may never finish paying off, or else, get a small property (three bedrooms max) in a bad area where there are no jobs and the locals are less-than-friendly. After five years of saving, his options are limited to getting a mortgage on a small property near his friends and family (assuming he was raised in a good area) or uprooting himself from his loved ones and living somewhere obscure and dire.
But we have been assuming that inflation and mass immigration do not continue rising in this hypothetical scenario. In all probability, after five years, £82k won’t be enough to buy a dilapidated property in even the most undesirable areas. Our now twenty-five-year-old male will discover that he started saving five years too late.
When all is said and done, this frugal (or penny-pinching) guy may or may not have saved the money necessary to acquire property and enter manhood. Assuming he does get a mortgage on a small property in an area which is not completely miserable (and/or dangerous), he will have paid an extremely high price to become an extremely low-status man; a man who is able to protect and provide for himself but not functionally able to do the same for a family.
This is a lot of work and dedication for the homeowner equivalent of food scraps. Saving 90% of your salary and only spending £1834.56 every year for five years is going to make Jack a very dull boy and a disappointed one to boot.
No small wonder then that many Zillennials and Zoomers don’t even try.
On Incels and Attraction
No, I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride
Trying to holla at me
If you don't have a car and you're walkin'
Oh, yes son, I'm talkin' to you
If you live at home with your momma
Oh, yes son, I'm talkin' to you (Baby)
If you have a shorty that you don't show love
Oh, yes son, I'm talkin' to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no, I don't want no
No scrub
-TLC (1999)
Discussing inceldom and the current sexual crisis online has become a hackneyed trope at this stage, but I do have something to add to the discussion and it is necessary before continuing with the rest of this essay.
We all know that the marriage, sex and relationship rates among the younger generations have fallen in western countries (I even discuss some of these statistics in my videos An Explanation for 2D Women and Anime Waifus and Sexual Reductionism). The incel problem is growing as increasing numbers of men are lamenting that they are unable to get laid or find girlfriends and are forced to be celibates.
A simple, stereotypical manospherian diagnosis would be that the reason incels cannot get notches on their belts is because they don’t have enough “game” and need to be more “alpha”.
But what is alpha? The number of arguments, pixels and memes used to explain what is alpha and what is beta is both extensive and exhausting. One would think that alphahood is a complex thing that cannot be understood but only discovered by years of meditation or being lucky enough to find the Holy Grail.
However, I propose that being alpha is actually easy to explain and understand when one knows the three Ps of manhood. Protecting, providing and procreating are intrinsically alpha, if you can do or are actively doing these things you are an alpha.
What is more, doing these things successfully makes a man act like an alpha. In common parlance, “being alpha” refers to acting confident, self-assured and strong in such a way that other men respect you and women find you attractive. Men who can fulfil the three Ps are often secure in their masculinity and this security in their manhood status imbues them with such confidence that they are admired by other men and liked by women. I have seen this myself in real life.
Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule, I’m sure we all know men who are able to provide, protect and have families but nevertheless don’t act alpha (read confident, self-assured etc.). Yet as a general rule, men who can successfully protect, provide and procreate act more alpha than those who can’t.
This is where game comes into the picture. Game is a mind-set and array of techniques and practices which a guy copies that make him act alpha or, in other words, make him appear like a man who can fulfil the three Ps in order to make women sleep with him.
Now it has been stated often that women are hypergamous and, boiled down, this means they are attracted to not only alpha men but the most alpha men in a group/hierarchy. Since fulfilling the three Ps makes a male an alpha and generally makes him act more alpha, women try to win the affection and commitment of men who are the best at executing the three Ps. What this looks like in the west is women trying their best to bag the richest man available as a committed lover.
In the past, the average guy on an average salary was able to fulfil the three Ps and thus was able to become a man; he was able to pay the price necessary to achieve alpha status. But as already discussed in the last section, the average young guy today cannot pay the price to become an alpha - i.e. a man - so the average guy today is often an incel.
If you read posts by incels, browse their Reddit pages and watch their YouTube videos, you will find they are overwhelmingly:
Young
Autistic/neurodivergent
Unconfident/anxious
Depressed
Nihilistic
Not financially secure/independent enough to perform the three Ps and therefore not considered men in the eyes of society.
The first two qualities on this list (1 and 2) are not consequences of condition 6 but 3, 4 and 5 are consequences of 6.
Or in other words…
6 as a state of existence = the psychological conditions of 3, 4 and 5 in guys.
How many incels are rich? Have you ever heard of a rich incel? Even if you have encountered one, you will have been surprised by his existence because everyone knows that incels are poor and still wholly dependent on their families. Some incels actually do live in their mothers’ basements.
Half a decade ago, Professor Dr Jordan B Peterson gifted the internet with hilarious lobster memes but his points about lobsters and lobster hierarchy are pertinent. Peterson’s main point about lobsters is that if you are a lowly lobster who is at the bottom of the hierarchy, you will have low serotonin and act depressed. If, however, you are a lobster who has fought and won a worthy position on the hierarchy, then your serotonin will increase and you will act confident and powerful.
Peterson observes that the same phenomena seen among the lobsters can be seen in human beings. The reason incels are depressed, nihilistic and anxious is because they are at the bottom of the masculine hierarchy. The reason they act like betas and omegas is because they are betas and omegas.
Girls and women see how incels act and talk, sense immediately that they are not alphas and feel no attraction towards them. The incel is invisible to women because he is honest about his status as a mere guy or big boy; he doesn’t pretend to be a man.
With enough effort and determination, an incel can learn game and pretend to be an alpha. He can hit the gym, learn his lines, adopt the persona of a self-assured man and fool dumb, desperate and horny/promiscuous women into fornicating with him. However, any woman a fake alpha manages to seduce will discover that he isn’t actually a man and the relationship will only ever be short and casual. This is why so many red pill gurus and pickup artists recommend “spinning plates”; it is because relationships forged with these methods do not go the distance.
Women are not hot on dating guys who are overwhelmingly dependent on others to survive and they certainly do not want to marry and start families with such guys. They want to marry and start families with men – adult males who can protect and provide.
This is not an indictment on women. This is simply how women are wired. Men do not want to date or marry fat women. This is simply how men are wired and no amount of fat acceptance propaganda is going to change that. Even the most carefully constructed propaganda has its limits.
The long and short of it is that the average guy is an incel and an incel is the average guy. This is why there are so many incels online and in real life in 2024.
Possible Contentions
Some may ask why it is a problem that many young guys in Great Britain (and in other western countries) cannot fulfil the three masculine duties described in this essay. They may point out that in natural environments the same kind of thing happens. Bad harvests, climate change and just rotten luck can ruin a man’s chances at providing enough food and resources to raise a family; it’s just life.
There have always been winners and losers.
Here are the two issues with that particular objection. The first is that there is a substantial difference between the crises which sometimes affect natural environments and the economic crisis affecting the artificial environment of Great Britain (and other western countries).
When bad weather ruins crops or forces game to move on and puts a primitive tribe through rough periods and caps a man’s ability to fulfil the responsibilities of protecting, providing and procreating, it is nothing personal. Mother Nature doesn’t have it in for that particular man or tribe, it is not personal in the slightest and is instead completely impersonal.
Not so in Great Britain and other western societies. Because money is what turns a boy into a man by enabling him to take on the responsibilities of the three Ps and because money and the financial system are manmade, the environment of the western world is controlled by the most powerful men in the hierarchy. It isn’t Mother Nature who has made property prices shoot through the roof or caused inflation in the UK, it is the elites and rulers of the country through a mix of incompetence, selfishness, greed and malice.
None of this needed to happen, but it has because of those in power. And while destroying the prospects of the nation’s youth may not be personal for them, it isn’t impersonal either. The elites of Great Britain would be and are happy to ruin everyone around them as long as they stay in charge and in wealth.
The pressures of a natural environment which are created by impersonal forces are not the same as those of an artificial environment controlled by personal agents who could change the rules and game state if they had the inclination.
The second issue is that this development could result in the end of western society. This isn’t hyperbole. Any tribe, group or civilization that wishes to see itself continue must reproduce; its members must be able to procreate at a young age.
From a fertility perspective, the best time to have children is in your twenties and it is best to start as early as possible. However, because of rising prices and inflation it isn’t realistic or viable for a young twenty-two-year old couple to have children in this day and age in Great Britain.
Many Zillennials and Zoomers don’t entertain the notion of having their own children for this reason, because they know they won’t be able to afford a family. In a world where cars are too expensive, owning or renting a house is a pipe dream.
Some highly religious and prolific masculinity online bloggers argue that Zillennials and Zoomers should have children despite the less-than-favourable circumstances because “people had children even during the Black Death and the World Wars” and “people have an obligation to raise the next generation for the “greater good”” but they seem happy to ignore these facts:
Contraception was not as reliable or available in earlier periods of strife and, if it had been more available for those people during those times, they might have chosen not to start families. People restrained from starting families during WWII and it was only after the war that there was a baby boom. Also this is an appeal to historicism, just because people did raise families in terrible epochs of history it doesn’t logically follow that it was something they should have done. An “is-ought” discussion is missing here.
Trying to raise a family in a cramped flat you rent with strangers or in the confined space of your old family home (assuming you have parents/grandparents who are okay with the idea of a multi-generational household) or in a government-provided apartment is not only going to be rough on you but also your children. No matter how much people want to ignore it, such environments will not be optimal or even positive for raising healthy and well-adjusted children. The majority of people who live on welfare and start families are all too often the very same people you do not want raising children and living in areas where you shouldn’t raise children.
Additionally, the multi-generational household idea in Great Britain is barely viable because of the high inheritance tax which destroys the capacity of the working and middle classes to pass down their property to their children.
Some male Zoomers could be persuaded to marry and start families even in the three aforementioned conditions above but there are not many female Zoomers who are going to be attracted to a guy whose plan is to start a family in any of these environments. Women want to start families with men, not dependent guys. Please see the previous section of this essay On Incels and Attraction.
Finally, because the communal and spiritual environment of modern western society is abysmal due to social, religious, moral and economic devastation, I don’t believe that many Zoomers care about western civilization or see any reason to struggle and sacrifice for its survival. I don’t think this is a conscious conclusion for the majority but instead intuitive. Zillennials and Zoomers know instinctively that they are living in a civilization that is antithetical to the True, the Good and the Beautiful and don’t want to continue it. One can pontificate on how having children is for the “greater good” and in a different time and/or place this would be true but is it really for the greater good to enable the perpetuation of such a depraved civilization? Is this a good place and time to raise children? Will they be able to live happy lives? Will they even be safe? Considering the situation, can anyone blame Zillennials and Zoomers for holding off having children, much like men and women did during WWII, hoping that the environment might be more suitable down the line?
TL;DR: it is going to be next to impossible to persuade Zillennials and Zoomers to pour their blood, sweat and tears into raising the next generation to continue the project of western civilization if there is nothing in it for them and their children other than suffering and decline. Although perhaps some religious and masculinity online personalities will make a nice tweet about these Zoomers before they revert to haranguing them for being soft and not manly enough.
So only older couples are choosing to have children but conceiving is much, much harder when you’re older and can sometimes be impossible. But even when an older couple does successfully conceive and bring a child to term, the child is more likely to suffer from health problems and developmental issues. Birth-rates in all western countries have fallen through the floor and Great Britain is no exception; it’s not that people don’t want children, it’s that they can’t afford them and sense that the environment is not in a good condition for raising children.
This spells the end of the western world in the not-so-far future.
Another possible objection to my argument is that I have focused only on the material. Some may ask about virtue, maturity, martial skill and general behaviour or about simply acting like an alpha. Surely these things make a man rather than money? Surely these are more important than mere material wealth?
I am not going to undermine the value of the above. If you are growing as a person and developing great character strengths, then I would encourage you to stay the course.
However, I want to be clear that I don’t make the rules. I am making this disclaimer because what I’m about to say next is going to come across as mean and uncharitable.
The aforementioned positive qualities; virtue, maturity etc. do not matter. The environment, aka western society, doesn’t care. In western society, the only thing which matters is whether a male is able to perform the three Ps which means the only thing that matters is money.
The only virtue that western society cares about is making money.
You can be the fattest, most immature and obsequious cretin (or, on the other end of the spectrum, the biggest prick) known to mankind but if you have the money and income to fend for yourself and others, then you will be a bigger man than the male who has the body of a Greek god, knows how to fight and is a paragon of classical virtue but is still forced to live with his parents or house share out of economic necessity. In fact, I have understated the case, the first male will actually be a man while the second will be an inspiring big boy and it is all because of money.
Now of course, the first type of guy I have described (fat, immature etc.) will not be a good man by any standard but he will be a man and that is the important thing. The second guy I have described may be a good guy but he won’t be a man and that is what is important in the final analysis.
Again, I don’t make the rules. Our society has made sure that money is the necessary resource in order to fulfil the responsibilities of all three Ps and have also decided that classical virtue and wisdom are unimportant at best and undesirable at worst. I am not making proscriptive claims; I’m merely making descriptive observations on how our artificial environment defines manhood and masculinity.
I like self-improvement and classical ideals on how to hold oneself and how to act as a man but none of these high notions help someone execute the all-important three Ps in-and-of-themselves, especially not in western society.
It is better to have money.
Finally, some will ask if masculinity or manhood can possibly be redefined. If we live in an artificial environment as I have suggested, why couldn’t we decide that money isn’t the be-all and end-all of masculine status?
And musing on this possibility of redefining manhood, some will point out that in primitive tribes and traditional societies, the level of independence expected of men is lower than in western culture. While a man is expected to protect and provide in such cultures, he is expected to do so for the tribe as a whole. Primitive man doesn’t just hunt by and for himself but also with and for his community. Considering the economic circumstances, couldn’t we redefine manhood so one could be considered an adequate man if he lives with his parents or house shares with others but helps to provide for his family/friendship group? Wouldn’t this be a RETVRN TO TRADITION?
Theoretically, manhood could be redefined so that males who demonstrate traditional virtues are more masculine than those who simply make lots of money. As well, I would hazard a guess that the current economic hardships might foster community bonds again and the roles of gathering money for the purposes of the three Ps might become more collective and so make it easier for individual males to achieve manhood status. However, any of these changes would have to take place within the framework of the three Ps so males would still need to prove they can take on the responsibilities of the Ps.
But practically speaking, if you want to redefine manhood, you need to have money and power in society already. If you want to shift everyone’s perceptions on what makes a man, you would need to use mass media to create a new consensus among the masses over a period of ten thousand films, ten thousand TV series and ten thousand news articles.
Writing blog articles and composing social media posts where you explain how hard it is to be a man and how the standards need to be lowered is not going to get the necessary attention and will fail to effect social change. What’s worse is it will look extremely self-serving and might actually be counterproductive.
Moreover, even if you had the money and power to attempt such a reframing of what it means to qualify as a man, because we all know what manhood is on an intuitive level, the popular perception of what makes a man can only be shifted so far. The three Ps will always be part of the equation and cannot be banished just because lots of male adults cannot square it.
The facts are these:
It is a bad thing that the average guy in western society is price-locked out of manhood and this is having an apocalyptic effect on the birthrate.
Currently, we cannot redefine what it means to be a man in western society in order to restore dignity for millions of young guys and/or to boost the birth-rate.
Where this leaves Zillennials and Zoomers
So, baby, pull me closer
In the backseat of your Rover
That I know you can’t afford
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder
Pull the sheets right off the corner
Of the mattress that you stole
From your roommate back in Boulder
We ain’t ever getting older
We ain’t ever getting older
We ain’t ever getting older…
-The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (2016)
To come full circle and reexamine the infantilization criticism which is often aimed at Zillennial and Zoomer males. The answer is yes, Zillennial and Zoomer males are infantilized and are big children and not really men, however, this is not because of a terrible upbringing. It is because of the economy (stupid!).
If you want someone to grow up, you must give him/her responsibilities and independence. Good parents typically do this slowly with their children to ensure that they mature and give them responsibilities they can handle but which will grow their maturity further.
However, the final threshold, the one which separates childhood from adulthood in western society is financial independence and responsibility. This is less important for girls/women but is extremely important for boys/men because money makes the man and allows him to execute the three Ps.
A few parents are actually able to give their children financial independence, either by bequeathing them with lots of wealth or by helping them to secure high paying jobs. And when I say “a few parents”, what I mean is the parents in the richest 1% are able to do this, not your average parents.
So the majority of guys have to rely on their own means and the prosperity of the economy to attain financial independence and provide for themselves. But now it has become functionally impossible and Zillennials and Zoomers are stuck in a limbo where they either live with their parents for years on end or live the rest of their lives as rent slaves with their generational fellows unable to save money. In this limbo, their young golden years are not spent starting families and growing roots but instead grappling with the un/conscious realization that they will not be able to achieve the level of prosperity and security of their parents even if they work twice as hard for twice as long.
The result is disturbing but rational. Zillennial and Zoomer males are checking out of society; they see the game is rigged and have decided they will not play if they have the option. They are quiet quitting, lying flat, refusing to work etc. some do the ultimate in checking out and end themselves.
A smaller percentage of these guys claim that they are women and/or genderfluid and, while I believe this is mostly due to real sex confusion caused by malicious agents and ideology in our society, I think there is a part of this which is the result of an unconscious desire to escape the shame of not performing and passing the rites of passage necessary to be considered a man.
As a near unified whole, the two aforementioned generational cohorts are losing themselves in the depths of the internet, indulging in their hobbies, binging on entertainment media and hoping that advancements in AI and virtual reality technologies will provide them with virtual/bot girlfriends who will always “love” them as if they were successful men.
Because they cannot obtain financial independence, take on the three Ps of manhood and pass all the price-locked rites of passage, the majority of Zillennial and Zoomer males do not act their age and their attitudes, interests, fashions and mode of life can be described as teenage. Therefore they can accurately be described as infantilized but we should remember that this is because they simply don’t have the money to pass the rites of passage into manhood.
They can’t pay the toll to cross the bridge.
It wouldn’t matter if Zillennials and Zoomers dropped their silly haircuts, ditched their weird internet slang and started acting their age, they still wouldn’t be men. They would just be play acting; faking it until they (never) make it. And if there is anything that no male adult, young or old, Generation X or Generation Z wants to do, it is to pretend to be something he is not.
Telling a guy who isn’t a man and knows he’ll never really be one that he should act like a man is no different to telling a young woman who is wearing a potato sack that she should act like she is wearing a beautiful ball gown. It can be done, but it is an unfathomably herculean task and no one is going to be fooled by the act no matter how dedicated the actor.
Moreover, telling people to act a certain way without providing a valid need misses the point of such instruction. For contrast, instructing a young driver to drive responsibly isn’t a pointless thing to do; it is completely appropriate because driving irresponsibly and acting like an idiot will put his life and the lives of others in danger. On the other hand, telling someone who doesn’t own a car to drive responsibly is a waste of time and is completely pointless.
The point I’m trying to make here is that people will only act in certain ways if they are required to. The reason we expect men to act like men is because they either have responsibilities or are in a position to accept responsibilities. We need men to act and behave in certain ways so they can effectively take on the responsibility of being good husbands, fathers, providers, protectors and leaders in their communities.
Telling a guy to act like a mature and responsible man when he has no reasons to be mature and no one is actually depending on him is a futile endeavour. It’s not that it wouldn’t be good for said guy to “act his age” but the incentive and need do not exist.
If we want more average guys to become and act like men, then we need to make it possible for the average guy to be able to pass our societal rites of passage. Because the rulers of our western nations have made no concerted efforts to make manhood affordable for the average guy, I must assume that our ruling class has no desire to initiate more males into adulthood. I must conclude that they either don’t care or actually want the majority of guys to be trapped in perpetual adolescence.
Advice
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. – Friedrich Nietzsche
I have no advice... yet.
The situation looks grim. Revolution is unlikely because the majority of Zillennials and Zoomers have accepted their fate and resigned themselves to lives dedicated to media, internet distractions and online hobbies to take away the disappointment of being overgrown children trapped in the edgy nursery of adolescence. Many would willingly choose to get isekai-ed by a truck if it took them to a world with real possibilities but they will settle with the soft isekai of computer games.
The elites of our society are only concerned with getting richer and more powerful. They don’t care about the plight of the average man, let alone the average guy who wants to be a man but can’t because of the economic environment.
I can imagine that something will give eventually but not before an entire generation of males are lost to perpetual adolescence and virtual reality distraction, never able to enter the realm of men. And not before the demographic collapse brings its ruinous consequences to bear.
The future is grim and dark and every guy must find his own reasons to continue living even if he cannot become a real man.
Addenda
1. Zoomers and Climate Change
Much has been said about surveys and questionnaires which report that Zoomers are foregoing children because of concerns about “manmade climate change”. A number of online right wing commentators have taken the opportunity time and time again to use the results of these surveys to argue that Zoomers are completely indoctrinated by the progressive anti-child and anti-life narrative of climate change.
While I am sure that there are Zoomers who are true believers and want to sterilize themselves in case they accidentally become fruitful and provoke Mother Gaia into melting Antarctica in retribution, I think the actual reason many Zoomers give this response to surveys is because of cope.
I think a lot of these online right wing commentators need to consider that Zoomers are unlikely to buy a house or rent a place big enough to raise children and that they need a psychological means to process and live in this horrible reality and to deal with the pain of knowing that it was over before it even started.
To accept this horrible revelation is to face the fact you have no agency over having and raising children. But to pretend that you are worried about climate change and that you don’t want to have children because of the ice caps is much less psychologically damaging. At the least, it gives you the illusion that you have agency over choosing whether to have children.
These survey results should be taken with a massive grain of salt. If the environment were different, if home ownership was an achievable objective for the majority of Zoomers, the survey results would be different because they wouldn’t have been touched by copium.
2. Manhood has concrete criteria but Masculinity is a spectrum
I thought it would be good to clarify on two things which are alluded to in this essay but not outlined explicitly. Manhood is strictly defined but masculinity is a spectrum.
What does this mean?
To become a man, a male must earn enough money to fulfil the roles of protecting, providing and procreating. To become more masculine, a male must become a better and more complete person by developing his strength, competence and other qualities associated with manhood.
Imagine two guys who have homes, wives, children and earn the same amount of money. Is there any question that these two guys are men? Of course not, they are both men.
Now imagine that the first of these two men is physically weak and has an issue of bootlicking at his place of work, while the second man is physically strong, has integrity and will say what he really thinks to his colleagues at work. Who is more masculine? Clearly the second.
This is why I allude to the fact throughout the essay that guys who practise self-improvement and work on themselves can become more manly and masculine than their peers even if they do not achieve manhood status.
The guy who lives with his parents but owns and drives a car is going to be more masculine than his friend next door in the same predicament who doesn’t have a vehicle.
3. Why guys get girlfriends in school and university
If what I have written about the three Ps is so important, then why do female students date male students in school and university? Male students in school in particular are dependent on their parents or caregivers for life’s essentials and cannot be described as men either from the perspective of executing the three Ps or from an age one. In Great Britain, when male students go to university, they are literally dependent on government loans, even if they can be considered men from an age perspective.
A not inconsiderable number of guys get girlfriends in these environments even though they aren’t real alphas. So what is going on?
I think the reasons are simple.
Reason 1: Insulated environment
Both school and university are insulated environments in the sense that they are not part of the “real world”. They are environments where everyone’s basic needs are met and where no one is expected to “act like an adult”. In short, both are environments where the essential provisions of life are assumed and where no one is particularly concerned about the future and how they might make their way in life.
Because of this, how guys and girls assess each other in these insulated environments is different to how they do it when they are older in the “real world”. Generally speaking, both sexes select a partner who is cool and fun to be around and don’t concern themselves with whether said partner shares the same values, beliefs and life goals. Most people in these environments don’t think too hard about the future and whether the person he/she is dating can go the distance with them.
Thus, when girls in these environments select partners, they aren’t measuring how well they can execute the three Ps. Instead, they are selecting boyfriends based exclusively on other qualities such as handsomeness, good humour, popularity, coolness and confidence.
Now, of course, women after university continue to select partners based on the aforementioned list but they also tend to be concerned with the long term and so also select a boyfriend/husband based on his ability to protect and provide. But at school and university, the protect and provide responsibilities are already accounted for and no one is concerned with procreation.
Reason 2: Gambling on Potential
Some guys and girls who enrol in university have more maturity than their peers and this is reflected in their partner choices. They actually want to find a lover who they can build a life with and who will go the distance.
For girls and women who are looking for such a partner at university, they have a small challenge. Because the guys at university are there to acquire skills and qualifications which will get them into a chosen career or increase their employment possibilities, none of them has actually proven himself as a protector and provider.
So the ladies have to assess the guys in the pool and try to gauge each guy’s potential to grow and become a man i.e. a successful protector and provider. Sometimes a woman’s gamble will pay off and other times it won’t but she either takes her chances at university or waits until she has completed her education before searching for a partner.
Most women will choose to gamble.
This explains why some guys who had no trouble attracting girls at university, sometimes struggle when they leave.
It also gives us insight as to why only a few look down on a twenty-five year old male who still lives with his parents but why everyone looks down on a forty-five year old male who does. It’s all about potential. For all we know, the twenty-five year old guy may become independent and prove himself soon. But the forty-five year old guy? By this stage, he looks like a loser who is going nowhere.
It also helps to explain why some guys can be found lamenting that they weren’t able to attract girls at either school or university. On its face, it seems absurd to be so upset because, while it isn’t an encouraging track record, past failures don’t need to determine the future.
But the actual cause of their lamentations is not their failures per se but instead the realization that getting a girlfriend was far easier in both environments while attracting a woman in “the real world” is near impossible without earning the absurd sums of money to be considered a man.
The guys are lamenting their failure at school and university because they fear that they squandered their only chance at finding love.
References
Immigration Is the Reason You Can't Buy a House
Britain can’t afford to drive – but can’t afford not to, either
Millions would need to DOUBLE their incomes to escape poverty, warns charity – as Martin Lewis urges policymakers to act
Why car ownership could soon be a thing of the past
Landlords ask £100,000 earners: ‘Can your mum guarantee the rent?’
Londoners spent a record-breaking £32.1 billion on rent this year
The housing crisis has reshaped adulthood for Gen Z
Could this £120,000 collapsible tiny home solve Britain’s housing crisis?
They say there's nothing new under the sun, but the world has never seen as many middle-aged incels as there will be in twenty years. I didn't think anyone knows what to do about this, and it seems unlikely to sort itself out well. Grim times ahead indeed.
The pay-walled rites of passage are proof that it's a bad idea to let merchants rule your society.